With some clever, somewhat devious, uses of Liquid ASS, you can pull the funniest April Fools' Day pranks ever. Liquid ASS should be a key part of every prankster's repertoire. See below for ideas for April Fools' Day pranks.
You can purchase Liquid ASS for as low as $3.78 per bottle. Simply go to the Products page of our online store.
People: Squirt Liquid ASS directly on the April fool himself. BE CAREFUL! Liquid ASS is silent and the thin stream is hard to see or feel, but given the circumstances, it is easier to get caught. But, watching the person walk around smelling like an April Fools' turd is worth the patience and effort.
Offices/Rooms: Squirt liberally with a sweeping motion over a large surface area. On most carpeted floors, Liquid ASS is not visible and the smell lasts longer. On tile floors, squirt in the corners to minimize light reflection. (See illustrations below). A good rule of thumb is to apply Liquid ASS around the perimeter of the target area or approximately that same amount spread over the middle area. Within 5-10 minutes, Liquid ASS begins to roar and the April Fools' Day hilarity has begun.
Automobiles: Since cars enclose a small area, Liquid ASS is extremely effective. The downside is that you will probably miss most of the April Fools' reaction which is 50% of the entertainment value (unless, of course, you are riding in the car enduring the April Fools' stench yourself).
• For a friend, put some Liquid ASS on a rag and stuff it under the seat.
• Otherwise, hammer it (carpet, seat fabric, corners, etc.).
Elevators: April Fools' Day "smellevator" (small enclosed areas are perfect).
Door handles: Their hand will smell like they shoved it up Andre the Giant's ass.
Liquid ASS "poo dollar": A classic April Fools' Day prank.
Office chair: Put it on the April fool's chair directly; get it on the April fool's clothes indirectly.
Telephone receiver: Give the April fools something to talk about on their favorite day.
April Fools' Day balloons: Get the party started by popping an ASS balloon.
Fan: Ahh . . . the smells of April fools' Day (apply to a rag and throw it on the shroud).
Public transportation: An April Fools' Day miracle.
Office desk: Perfect April Fools' Day prank for your favorite brown-noser (apply around the rear edges).
Liquid ASS can also used for a unique funny gag gift.
First of all, congratulations on making a stink product that so effectively emulates the smell of a filthy barn with 6" accumulation of pig diarrhea on the ground. The smell is so hard to describe, it's intimately horrible, like something you would smell off of a hot finger. I've used it succesfully numerous times. A few of my favorites: a couple squirts on the carpeted floor of the men's clothing section in a department store. I returned 15 minutes later to see two employees pawing at the jeans looking for a piece of shit. They were dumbfounded, bobbing up and down like a couple of prairie dogs, whiffing the air to locate the source. Sorry friends, you will find nothing. It spreads like some sort of shitty air cancer. Few Dockers were sold that afternoon.
I gave a half bottle to my friend, telling him to use it as necessary. We were treated poorly by the staff in a small store. On the way out he stealthily dropped a few squirts on their carpet. The smell hit me immediately, like a punch from the bottom of an uncleaned birdcage. I saw customers enter the store, then immediately leave, disgusted and angry. Minutes later, the staff were all outside, discussing which scented candles they would light to get rid of the stench. Take it, rude boutique store staff, that's what you get. Their store smelled like Paul Bunyan had wiped his ass with it.
Liquid Ass also has a tremendous ability to distribute vertically. I squirted about 1/3 of a bottle at the bottom of a 5-level stairway and after 20 minutes all floors were unbearable. People were riding the elevator to go down one floor. I've also used it in bathrooms and port-a-potties, where people expect bad smells, but the smell is so intense and horrid people will usually leave immediately. I can only wonder what is going through their minds as they try to figure out how someone dropped such a heinous #2.
The best part of Liquid Ass is the fact that no one can find a source. Watching people maul clothing or closely inspect a floor to find a piece of excrement is so funny, I challenge anyone to not laugh uncontrollably. Keep up the good work! All pranksters should have this in their arsenal.
— D.S.
To say this stuff smells like shit is the understatement of the year! I've smelled port-o-potties in 105 degree arizona heat that smell better than Liquid ASS!
Once I got my Liquid ASS, I immediately ASS'd my bosses office, who immediately ran outside to check what he thought for sure was a break in the sewer line! I had ASS'd his chair pretty good and after he moved out of his office for the day, he couldn't imagine why he was still smelling it everywhere. He said, "I think I have that stench stuck in my nose." Little did he know it was the seat of his pants! It was all I could do not to bust out laughing.
I ASS'd my hubby's truck the morning he had to pick up 2 coworkers to go to work. He was calling me at home telling me that his truck smelled like straight up shit and he was so embarrassed because he had to pick up these 2 other guys! They didn't get 2 miles before they were pulled over to the side of the road, tearing the truck apart because they were sure that something must have gotten in there and died!
And finally . . . I ASS'd a coworker. This guy is the biggest douchebag. Thinks he is so hot and so much better than everyone else. Man I couldn't wait. As I was walking by him I unleashed hell's fury on the back of his jacket. Watching him walk around looking left to right with the most disgusted look on his face and sniffing at the air around him was the funniest sight I have ever seen! He then disappeared into the bathroom for a good 20 minutes. He came out with a wet jacket that smelled even worse! He tried to scrub the smell out with the shitty paper towels that we have at work but all he did was release the stank even more! He came up to me and said, "Dude, my jacket smells like SHIT!" I couldn't hold it in . . . I laughed like I've never laughed before . . . I had to cover myself so I told him I thought he was rippin' ass and that's why I was laughing.
BEST STUFF EVER guys!!!!!!!! I recommend it to everyone that needs revenge or likes pranks. I'm going out this afternoon with an old friend and we plan on stankifying the restaurant we go to..can't wait! Will let you guys know how it goes!
— Rowdy
Don't forget to have plenty of Liquid ASS for Halloween.
To purchase Liquid ASS, go to the Products page of our online store.
Page last updated 28April2008.
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