For many years, Stink Bombs and Fart Spray have been the only stink prank
products on the market. Now there is Liquid ASS. What follows
is a point by point comparison of Fart Spray, Stink Bombs, and Liquid ASS. But
first we need to break down the attributes of a perfect prank.
It should have the following
characteristics:
• Effective
• Stealthy
• Long-lasting
• Observable
• Repeatable
• Fart Spray is effective with a
sulfur chemical smell.
• Stink
Bombs are effective with a sulfur chemical smell.
• Liquid ASS is effective having an
authentic butt-crack/poo smell.
Liquid Ass is the most authentic smelling ass product I have found. It combines both a bona fide turd smell with the gaseous effects of a noxious fart bomb.
— Jen from Colorado
Listen to a short excerpt of WMMR's Preston and Steve (Philadelphia)
commenting on the smell of Liquid ASS 
(MP3, 410 KB) which is transcribed
below.
I was blown away by Liquid Ass. I could smell it through the bottle, but I had no clue of the wrath that would soon be unleashed. I knew it was going to be bad. Bad soon turned to horrible, which led to devastating. To me, it smells like a turd in a frat-house toilet that didn't get flushed and got peed on later, and still didn't get flushed. Instead it just fermented and matured until someone couldn't take it and sent it down the drain.
- Secret Agent Toastman
• Fart Spray is not stealthy.
Although it leaves no traces, Fart Spray makes the sound of an aerosol can
during application and is more difficult to apply without being seen.
• Stink Bombs are not
stealthy. Stink bombs are packaged in glass vials which must be broken. The
broken glass remains behind as evidence.
• Liquid ASS is stealthy. It streams out
silently in a clear liquid. Properly applied (see our Suggested Uses page for proven
methods) it is virtually invisible and no traces remain after 5-10 minutes since
it evaporates.
I just wanted to say that getting back at a fellow coworker has never been so much DAMN
FUN! I purchased the 4-Pack thinking that I would need the extra ass power!!!
Boy, was I wrong . . . 1 bottle is all that I needed. You have to time these
things out when there are others around. When the time was right I got him good!
I sprayed him for a good 3 seconds . . . ON HIS ASS! and I calmly walked away .
. .
HOLY COW! The smell had been so foul for him that he had to pull his
shirt collar to his nose as a breathing mask. And he had four of his friends
come over to see if they could find the location of the smell and they sprayed 2
full cans of air freshener to kill the smell. The look on his stupid ass face
was well worth the money I had spent for this product. Let him talk shit again
and I'll pull my stash of Liquid Ass out so quick he'll think he had a 20-pound
Tijuana bean burrito stuffed up his ass!
Thank you, LIQUID
ASS!!!
— Tony
• Fart Spray does not last long at
all. Since Fart Spray is applied in vapor form, it soon
dissipates.
• Stink Bombs are
relatively long-lasting. Since Stink Bombs are in liquid form, several Stinks
Bombs should last long enough to get the job done depending on room-size and
ventilation.
• Liquid ASS, in general, will last for
1-3 hours depending on room-size, ventilation, and the amount applied.
You guys are the shit (and I mean that literally)!!!!
Yesterday I polluted a co-worker's vehicle early in the morning and it stank ALL
DAY. This little prick I work with is one of those practical jokers who doesn't
know when to quit, so I decided to cure him slowly. Since this guy has never
smelled Liquid Ass before, this is the perfect payback! I figure I will dribble
a few drops in his company truck once or twice a week until the smell becomes
part of the truck. I was going to use "Tink's 69 Doe in Estrus" deer attractant
but it just smells like animal piss. Your stuff smells like someone/something
took a big dump in the back of the truck and that will drive him nuts wondering
who shat in the truck.
Thank you very much from me and the guys who work
with this little turd we are paying back!!!
— Funky Fone-Man
• Fart Spray reactions are
observable if you were able to spray the Fart Spray without being
heard.
• Stink Bombs are
observable if you are comfortable that the broken glass from the Stink Bomb
vials won't be discovered.
• Liquid ASS reactions are observable.
You can apply it silently and discreetly and hang around to watch the reactions.
The question is — can you contain your laughter?
As soon as I received this stuff I was giddy, almost
too giddy. So the first place I wanted to try it out? — my girlfriend's house,
since her parents have dealt an enormous amount of hell for her the past year
for living at home for free, I thought it would be a perfect place to unleash my
Liquid Ass fury. I didn't put that much on — I sprayed just like you guys said —
in a sweeping motion.
Man, that house smelled like ASS! It was the
funniest thing i've ever experienced in my entire life. Her mom was asking
everyone to check their shoes, and was getting into a fight with her dad saying
he must have drug in dog shit. I swear, not laughing was the hardest thing I've
ever had to do.
Your product is the greatest thing ever
created.
— Ken Donaberger
The Assmen hit the breakfast cereal aisle of a local store. Assman #2 was wired up with our new hidden camera. These two ladies were kind enough to share with us their inner thoughts of Liquid ASS (WMV, 3.1 MB).
In their own words:
• Fart Spray pranks are repeatable.
But, as noted above, Fart Spray is not very stealthy, so your chances of being
caught increase.
• Stink Bombs
pranks are repeatable. But because of the broken glass, Stink Bombs are not very
stealthy, so your chances of being caught increase.
• Liquid ASS pranks are repeatable.
Since it is stealthy, you won't get caught. Since Liquid ASS is a smell that
causes people to suspect sewer gas, dog poop, dead animal, etc., the idea that
it might be a prank never crosses their mind.
(This is a long read but well worth the time)
Your product is the best stink novelty product on the
planet!!! The very minute I got it in the post, I opened the box and got a whiff
off the bottle. It smelt like ass! I'm having such great fun with this product.
I never laughed so hard in my life. I was assing the college I go to of an
average once a day! The janitor in the college is a first prize ass hole and
also a lazy f***er that sits on his ass and gets paid good money for it. That
was all about to change when I got hold of Liquid Ass! I assed the the men's
toilet cubicles and down along the corridor; also squirted a couple of jets of
ass on the heater in the corridor. The smell of this stuff is so potent. I
wasn't expecting it to be that bad. It was every bit as bad as they said it was
on the assman sight. In my words, it smells like shit at it strongest ever! When
used right in the right places, the shit-laden stench lasts for
hours!
Every day I was laughing my ass off in college,
witnessing the people complain about the stench especially the girls. Some
overheard words from guys and girls:
"Oooooofffff, yoooofffff, the smell of shit!"
"What's that rotten smell!"
"What is going on here!"
"Oooooooh, f***, the smell!"
"That's dog shit!"
"The shitter blew up!"
One guy said in the toilet cubical, "It is like being
in a brick shit house in 40 degrees Celsius desert heat!"
It was causing
a big scene in the corridor and in the toilets. The corridor smelt like
ass!
The girls were putting pressure on the janitor to sort the problem.
I never seen that asshole work so hard in my life with tonnes of different
disinfectants for the toilets! He was on his hands and knees scrubbing like
never before! Out in the yard he was lifting up the man hole covers. He was
climbing up the rafters in the ceiling in the building to see was there anything
dead!
His head was done in by all this. He has went thru the process of
elimination and to his utter frustration, he couldn't find the source. The look
on his stupid face every day - I found it almost impossible to hold in the
laughter. I just had to go off and hide some where on my own and burst my sides
laughing! That disgusting smell of diarrhea in the college corridor and toilets
was just a formality for the students and the stupid janitor. He had his work
cut out for him every day listening to people complaining about the smell of
shit. I just could not keep the grin off my face! I stopped assing the place
when the fumigators were eventually called! The janitor looked like some dumb
ass explaining to the fumigators about the raw sewage smell in the men's toilets
and the corridor when the fumigators found no source in the building (ha ha!).
The fumigators said to janitor, "We went thru the whole building and checked the
manholes and toilet plumbing system and we found nothing that can cause the
smell you are on about." One of them said to him, "Are you sure it is no one
pissed taking with stink bombs or anything like that?" "Oh, no, no, no. This
smells like a pungent shit smell like you would smell in a brick shit house. I
mean this is awful worse than dog shit. It stinks up the whole place and it has
being a constant thing all week." he said. "I'm getting f***ing sick of this.
This is getting f***ing ridiculous. I don't know what I'm going to do about it
if it keeps up." he said in a very angry and pissed off tone! "If the smell
comes back give us a shout." the men said. "We may have to take up the floors in
the toilets and corridor if it continues." The college staff had to fork out 400
euro for the fumigator call out. From a smiley face cocky smart ass hole of a
janitor, he was reduced to an angry and very frustrated stressed out man. All I
could do by hearing and witnessing the mass hysteria was laugh my head off.
Ha.
I was bordering on the bit-2-much side on the college, so I will give
it a break for a while.
Just thinking to myself, if that stuff gets into
the wrong hands, it can cause a lot of damage. Ha.
I have endless more
prank and revenge attacks on my list. There is a never ending amount of people
and places to ass. It never stops!
I pulled a harmless prank on my mate
by putting some ass in his motorbike helmet. I nearly pissed myself on the bike
when I watched in my mirror as he pulled over by the road side. I just had to
stop the bike and watch while laughing my head off. He ripped the helmet off his
head he shouted, "There is a smell of shit in my helmet and there is no shit in
it!" He franticly rubbed his hands thru his hair while looking at himself in the
mirror on the bike.
After the long 2 hours driving home on the bikes, I
told him about the Liquid Ass product. He said, "Ah, D, ya cunt." He was a
little annoyed, but at the same time he laughed off the joke as he is one of
them easy-going guys that can take a joke. He was amazed with the product. He
thought it was the best thing ever! I asked him what was the 2 hour drive like
with that helmet on. He said, "It was like having my head shoved up someone's
hole for 2 hours. That's the best way I can explain it. I felt like pulling over
several times to get sick. I did not know what the f*** was going on!"
I
think this is the best stink prank novelty product ever
because:
• The bottle is small and
handy.
• It is invisible and silent -
no noise.
• It smells like pure shit
at its most potent.
• Even a small bit
of this stuff can go a long way.
• It
is impossible to find the source because it is invisible - no
mess.
• It smells like a proper
realistic smell of shit, not like them distinctive rotten egg sulfur stink bombs
and fart gasses that nearly everyone knows about and can leave evidence behind.
When you use Liquid Ass, no one suspects that anyone has let off a stink bomb
because it smells like real proper shit and no one can really prove that someone
is joking around.
• The the shit-laden
stench can last for hours if used right! A whole 24 hours in some
cases!
• Works like a dream in
offices. Ha ha!
I really appreciate your product. I am a very happy
customer and I will be buying more stashes of Ass off you in the near future for
fun, laughter and enjoyment. Keep up the good work.
An up-market
restaurant in Dublin is my next target. The owners are so rude and such snobs
that they need to be assed badly. I will give it to them with a vengeance! I
will email you to let you know how it goes.
Thanks assman one and two.
— Devious D in Ireland
The primary ingredient of Stink Bombs is ammonium sulfide. According to
Material Safety Data Sheet for ammonium sulfide, it "may be fatal
if inhaled or swallowed." When the Stink Bomb glass vials are broken, the
ammonium sulfide reacts with the water in the air to form hydrogen sulfide
(which is the cause of the resulting sulfur stink smell). According to Material
Safety Data Sheet for hydrogen sulfide, it is "Highly toxic — may be
fatal if inhaled. Inhalation of a single breath at a concentration of 1000 ppm
may cause coma. Corrosive when moist. Skin contact may cause burns."
However, Liquid ASS has been tested to be safe.
The Material Safety Data Sheet for Liquid ASS notes that it "is not
toxic."
You can purchase Liquid ASS for as low as $3.78 per bottle. Simply go to the Products page of our online store.
Do you have any questions or comments for the Assmen?
Send us an email.
Page last updated 11Nov2006.
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