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Liquid ASSets Novelties, LLC :: All Products :: Liquid Ass 9-Pack
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Author: Devious D in Ireland
Your product is the best stink novelty product on the planet!!! The very minute I got it in the post, I opened the box and got a whiff off the bottle. It smelt like ass! I'm having such great fun with this product. I never laughed so hard in my life. I was assing the college I go to of an average once a day! The janitor in the college is a first prize ass hole and also a lazy f***er that sits on his ass and gets paid good money for it. That was all about to change when I got hold of Liquid Ass! I assed the the men's toilet cubicles and down along the corridor; also squirted a couple of jets of ass on the heater in the corridor. The smell of this stuff is so potent. I wasn't expecting it to be that bad. It was every bit as bad as they said it was on the assman sight. In my words, it smells like shit at it strongest ever! When used right in the right places, the shit-laden stench lasts for hours!
Every day I was laughing my ass off in college, witnessing the people complain about the stench especially the girls. Some overheard words from guys and girls:
"Oooooofffff, yoooofffff, the smell of shit!"
"What's that rotten smell!"
"What is going on here!"
"Oooooooh, f***, the smell!"
"That's dog shit!"
"The shitter blew up!"
One guy said in the toilet cubical, "It is like being in a brick shit house in 40 degrees Celsius desert heat!"
It was causing a big scene in the corridor and in the toilets. The corridor smelt like ass!
The girls were putting pressure on the janitor to sort the problem. I never seen that asshole work so hard in my life with tonnes of different disinfectants for the toilets! He was on his hands and knees scrubbing like never before! Out in the yard he was lifting up the man hole covers. He was climbing up the rafters in the ceiling in the building to see was there anything dead!
His head was done in by all this. He has went thru the process of elimination and to his utter frustration, he couldn't find the source. The look on his stupid face every day - I found it almost impossible to hold in the laughter. I just had to go off and hide some where on my own and burst my sides laughing! That disgusting smell of diarrhea in the college corridor and toilets was just a formality for the students and the stupid janitor. He had his work cut out for him every day listening to people complaining about the smell of shit. I just could not keep the grin off my face! I stopped assing the place when the fumigators were eventually called! The janitor looked like some dumb ass explaining to the fumigators about the raw sewage smell in the men's toilets and the corridor when the fumigators found no source in the building (ha ha!). The fumigators said to janitor, "We went thru the whole building and checked the manholes and toilet plumbing system and we found nothing that can cause the smell you are on about." One of them said to him, "Are you sure it is no one pissed taking with stink bombs or anything like that?" "Oh, no, no, no. This smells like a pungent shit smell like you would smell in a brick shit house. I mean this is awful worse than dog shit. It stinks up the whole place and it has being a constant thing all week." he said. "I'm getting f***ing sick of this. This is getting f***ing ridiculous. I don't know what I'm going to do about it if it keeps up." he said in a very angry and pissed off tone! "If the smell comes back give us a shout." the men said. "We may have to take up the floors in the toilets and corridor if it continues." The college staff had to fork out 400 euro for the fumigator call out. From a smiley face cocky smart ass hole of a janitor, he was reduced to an angry and very frustrated stressed out man. All I could do by hearing and witnessing the mass hysteria was laugh my head off. Ha.
I was bordering on the bit-2-much side on the college, so I will give it a break for a while.
Just thinking to myself, if that stuff gets into the wrong hands, it can cause a lot of damage. Ha.
I have endless more prank and revenge attacks on my list. There is a never ending amount of people and places to ass. It never stops!
I pulled a harmless prank on my mate by putting some ass in his motorbike helmet. I nearly pissed myself on the bike when I watched in my mirror as he pulled over by the road side. I just had to stop the bike and watch while laughing my head off. He ripped the helmet off his head he shouted, "There is a smell of shit in my helmet and there is no shit in it!" He franticly rubbed his hands thru his hair while looking at himself in the mirror on the bike.
After the long 2 hours driving home on the bikes, I told him about the Liquid Ass product. He said, "Ah, D, ya cunt." He was a little annoyed, but at the same time he laughed off the joke as he is one of them easy-going guys that can take a joke. He was amazed with the product. He thought it was the best thing ever! I asked him what was the 2 hour drive like with that helmet on. He said, "It was like having my head shoved up someone's hole for 2 hours. That's the best way I can explain it. I felt like pulling over several times to get sick. I did not know what the f*** was going on!"
I think this is the best stink prank novelty product ever because:
- The bottle is small and handy.
- It is invisible and silent - no noise.
- It smells like pure shit at its most potent.
- Even a small bit of this stuff can go a long way.
- It is impossible to find the source because it is invisible - no mess.
- It smells like a proper realistic smell of shit, not like them distinctive rotten egg sulfur stink bombs and fart gasses that nearly everyone knows about and can leave evidence behind. When you use Liquid Ass, no one suspects that anyone has let off a stink bomb because it smells like real proper shit and no one can really prove that someone is joking around.
- The the shit-laden stench can last for hours if used right! A whole 24 hours in some cases!
- Works like a dream in offices. Ha ha!
I really appreciate your product. I am a very happy customer and I will be buying more stashes of Ass off you in the near future for fun, laughter and enjoyment. Keep up the good work.
An up-market restaurant in Dublin is my next target. The owners are so rude and such snobs that they need to be assed badly. I will give it to them with a vengeance! I will email you to let you know how it goes.
Thanks assman one and two.
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Author: Jager Stein
This shit is pranker's gold, The holy grail of "What farging died in here!" LA is a must have for anyone, Keep up the horrid work ass men. Best Southern Regards, Jager Stein~
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Author: david oberstein
well when i first got it i was like this better smell and as soon as i opened the box i went to the study got some tape and taped it back up because it was soo bad soo bad i had to throw the box out and wrap them in 3 plastic bags close them in my droors and sprac deodorant all over the bags....my room still stinks and it over 3 hours later and i didnt even open them!!!
best buy!!!
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Author: Sid Vicious
I work as a policeman in Greece, found your website by accident and laughed my ass off at your customers mischiefs so I ordered 9 bottles right ahead.
The stuff arrived today, and I surely was going to test it at work. You see there is a big briefing from our supervisors before we hit the streets and most of the times there is no chair to sit on cause it's taken by someone else. I assed the department . . . immediately the space emptied, everyone wondered if the flush broke down "again" and shit floated like boats. The female officers were particularly sensitive may I add, sadly no one threw up. There was though a single case of bravado - a single dude that seem not to care about the smell and was sitting ALONE at the emptied space. As one pointed out, there is always someone enjoying shit.
Nice product. I expect something even more horrific in the future.
Cheers.
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Author: Th@T GuY
Just purchased 6 bottles now.... will leave a full review as soon as i open the bottel.... and trust me.... i will be causing some real sh!t =)
cant wait LiquidASS FTW!!!
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Author: Nick
That stuff smells like you stuck your nose up someones ass-crack and they took a rotten shit on your face! Liquid ASS rocks!
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Author: evilbastard1
This is the greatest thing since sliced bread. LOL
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