ASSman Bio's

Allen Wittman (Assman #1):  Inventor of Liquid ASS

– Born & raised: Northwest Ohio
– Age: Old enough to know better . . .
– High school: Graduated – without honors
– College: University of Toledo – Electrical Engineering
– Other interests & hobbies: Drums (No . . . you can’t touch my drum set!), Woodworking, Hiking & Poop Sculpting
– Favorite saying: Oh . . . hell no!
– Favorite food: All meat pizza
– Favorite song: No Scrubs by TLC
– Favorite movie: Full Metal Jacket
– Marital status: Happily married to the Assma’am #1
– Favorite quote: “Boycott shampoo! Demand the REAL poo!” — Steven Wright

Andrew Masters (Assman #2) – It was my idea to sell Liquid ASS

– Native of Connersville, Indiana
– Age: 52
– High school: Valedictorian of a school that no longer exists
– College: Bob Jones University – IPFW – MS Mathematics; BS Physics 
– Other interests & hobbies: Hiking, rock-climbing, gardening, history
– Favorite saying: Oh boy . . .
– Favorite food: Pizza King pizza and Belgium dark chocolate
– Favorite song: More Than a Feeling by Boston
– Favorite movie: Duck Soup starring The Marx Brothers
– Marital status: I have a hot girlfriend.
– Favorite quote: “Those are my principles. If you don’t like them, I have others.” — Groucho Marx