Liquid ASS is an overwhelming, stinky, funny prank product. Once unleashed, this power–packed, super–concentrated liquid begins to evaporate filling the air with a genuine, foul butt–crack smell with hints of dead animal and fresh poo. The funny pranks you can pull with Liquid ASS are unlimited. Watching the facial grimaces of people and hearing their comments about the part–your–hair, gagging stench will have you laughing until it hurts.
Looking for funny gag gifts? Get everybody laughing with the unique gift of Liquid ASS.
My girlfriend managed to find an old bottle of Liquid ASS and she used it. She said it worked. Below are two of her experiences about which she told me:
Experience #1: We had a ceramics teacher who was just simply uptight. She would give out detentions for not standing "attentively" during the pledge and morning announcements. She gave a kid who was moving to Alaska THAT NIGHT a detention. She then called his school in Alaska and asked them to give him a detention. One morning, a fellow sufferer came to school so very excited. She had bought Liquid ASS — perfect to "tell her how much we think she reeks".
It was quite a busy classroom, so when she was in the back room, we put 3 drops in the doorway — no one saw. Within 3 minutes, the entire room reeked of ASS. Just ASS. One girl gagged; it was NOT hard to fake being shocked at the smell. The teacher was outright disturbed. She took off her sweater and wrapped it around her face, called maintenance, and said that there was a terrible smell, claiming that either a sewage pipe had broken near her room or something was dead.
Experience #2: A friend and I were leaving the scene of the crime. (She had tested Liquid ASS out on her parents. They thought a cat had died in the air ducts of the house, and her father began looking in all the vents for the source of the "horrendous smell".) She had decided that Liquid ASS was too much responsibility, and was handing it off to me. Grateful, I decided to take her for some ice cream or something. I put the bottle (it was in a plastic bag, and I assumed it was completely secure) in one of the pockets of my bag. We were driving along — all the windows closed — when suddenly, a vile smell filled the car. It was worse than the "horrendous smell" her father had hunted. Something about the confined space and the heat of the car made it outright unbearable. Not just ass — something had crawled up that ass and died on a bed of eggs. It was beyond bad. We had to stop, air out the car, contain the toxic spill, and then sit quite a distance away for an hour while the car aired out. Wicked stuff.
— Vlad
One of our customers, Anthony, sprays some Liquid ASS at work and claims the nasty smell is his own I–had–tuna–for–lunch fart. Watch and laugh as his coworkers suffer in olfactory agony.
Send us your video. If we deem that it is good enough to use on our site, we will send you 25 bottles of Liquid ASS as we did for Anthony for his video above.
The video needs to be the digital file from the camera (MPEG-4) saved on a CD uncompressed and sent directy to us thru the mail.
After much research and development, the ASSmen bring you BARFume — puke smell in a bottle.
Remember back when someone tossed their cookies in the hallway at school (and they put that granular stuff on it)? BARFume will let you relive those days of yore when you and your schoolmates had split into either side of the hall to avoid the vomit mess while trying to hurriedly move through the uvula–tickling upchuck smell.
You can relive those days with a quick dash of BARFume. Better yet, let your coworkers and friends relive those school days while you sit back and laugh.
What defines a perfect funny prank? It should be (1) effective, (2) long–lasting, (3) stealthy, (4) observable, (5) repeatable, and (6) safe. Liquid ASS and BARFume have all these characteristics. Try it and see for yourself.
Don't take our word for it. Here is what our customers are telling us:
• "You've replicated the smell of human excrement perfectly."
• "This STUFF is AWESOME for pranks and a less–than–lethal weapon!!"
• "You guys should get a Nobel prize for this!"
• "Liquid ASS has greatly exceeded my expectations."
• "I have never laughed so hard in my life."
• "I have found that your product is the Holy Grail of stink!"
• ". . . Liquid Ass seems to smell "hot", like really fresh shit . . ."
• "The best part of Liquid Ass is the fact that no one can find a source."
• "All pranksters should have this in their arsenal."
• "Liquid ASS is the ultimate college revenge product."
• "I and the other 2 girls I work with have been pretty much peeing our pants with laughter."
• "Liquid Ass to me is now ranked among the greatest inventions of all time."
• "It combines both a bona fide turd smell with the gaseous effects of a noxious fart bomb."
, it's a bit disturbing."
You can hear radio interviews with the Assmen in their entirety by going to our Radio Links Page.
Hate your job? Morale at work low? Pull out your stash of Liquid ASS and pull some hilarious office pranks, exact some revenge on your annoying co–worker, or show your boss who really is in charge. Job satisfaction going up.
To get your own stash of ASS, go to the Products page of our online store.
World Champion Freediver Tanya Streeter can hold her breath for 6 minutes . . . but can she handle 2 seconds of Liquid ASS? Watch this video and find out (WMV, 1.9 MB).
Stink Bombs and Fart Spray are effective stink prank products, but they have that chemical sulfur smell. Liquid ASS has an authentic butt–crack smell.
Need some ASS? Go to the Products page of our online store.
If you like Stink Bombs and Fart Spray, just wait until you try Liquid ASS!
Do you have any questions or comments for the Assmen?
Send us an email.
Want a Liquid ASS t–shirt or coffee mug? Go to Cafe Press and order yours today. (Sorry, coffee mug is made in China.)
Page last updated 24December2011.
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