About Us
About Liquid ASS
Liquid ASSets Novelties, LLC.
In business since 2005, our mission is to make the world laugh and provide an effective product for practical jokes and harmless revenge.
Liquid ASS is a nearly clear liquid having a putrid, ass–like odor. We have received many testimonials from our customers proffering their thoughts of the stench. If you can imagine a mixture of road-kill and butt–crack, you are close. Unleash its fury and Liquid ASS will part your hair.
We package Liquid ASS in a bottle small enough to hide in the palm of your hand. The bottle dispenses our nasty elixir in a thin, invisible, silent stream, thus equipping the prankster with stealth and speed. These characteristics of Liquid ASS make it the perfect practical joke product.
Liquid ASS has been tested by an independent laboratory and found to be safe. Follow the instructions on the bottle and you are in business.
A Brief History of Liquid ASS
The original "recipe" of what was to become Liquid ASS was concocted by Assman #1 during his time in high school. He made the most of his new found "equalizer". Targets included his English teacher, the high school lunch room, the visiting basketball team, and even the girl who would eventually become his wife. College and marriage diverted his attention from his prankster ways and the remainder of his stinky liquid was shelved.
Some years later, Assman #1 meets Assman #2. Assman #2 is a prank–loving individual and Assman #1 tells him about his stinky liquid. Assman #2 is skeptical that something could possibly work so well. So Assman #1 breaks out the old batch and gives Assman #2 a demonstration. Assman #2 is impressed and has a riot doing all kinds of ASS pranks. Knowing full well that this stinky liquid is far better than anything available, ASSman #2 suggests to Assman #1 that they start a business selling ASS. Assman #1 agrees that this is a good idea and suggests that they name their nasty fluid Liquid ASS.
The Assmen's 100% Satisfaction Guarantee
The Assmen know that Liquid ASS is the best stink prank on the market. If, for any reason, you are not fully satisfied with the performance and smell of your ASS, we will either send you a replacement or issue you a full refund.
Page last updated 12March2018.