Liquid ASS is an overwhelming, stinky, funny prank product. Once unleashed, this power–packed, super–concentrated liquid begins to evaporate filling the air with a genuine, foul butt–crack smell with hints of dead animal and fresh poo. The funny pranks you can pull with Liquid ASS are unlimited. Watching the facial grimaces of people and hearing their comments about the part–your–hair, gagging stench will have you laughing until it hurts.
Looking for funny gag gifts? Get everybody laughing with the unique gift of Liquid ASS.
When I received my Liquid ASS, it smelled so bad that we had to set the bottle in the garage. It stuck up my whole kitchen for a day. It smells like the nastiest rotten butt crack/ass outhouse dirty diaper smell — I almost puked. I could smell it through the bottle. I resorted to burning red onions and garlic in butter on top of the stove to get the smell out of my kitchen — truly.
I used the Liquid ASS on my rude, rotten neighbor's cars. I dumped half a bottle in one car's air intake vent (at the bottom of the windshield) and half the bottle in the other car's air intake vent. I did this about 3 am. I made some coffee and stayed up to watch the reactions.
At 6 am, right on time, the guy came out, jumped in his car, and peeled out. He got about 500 feet up the street slamed on his brakes, did a U–turn, and barrelled down the street back to his drive way. He jumped out of his car gagging and cussing. By this time I am just dying laughing. I took my dog outside and the guy was almost crying. Then he called the cops and I really started laughing to the point I thought I would throw up.
The cops arrived and they were looking for poop in his car. I was laughing so hard it hurt. Then he opened the other car door and the smell wafted out all over the place. The cop was gagging and had his white hankie over his face. By this time about a hour passed and some other neighbors were out in the drive ways and every one was making gag noises. It smelled up half the block, I kid you not. I am still laughing. The cop left and didn't do anything but gag. It was the funniest thing I have ever seen . The guy was jumping up and down cussing and the neighborhood kids were falling out laughing.
My husband is not to happy with me but he has the sence of humor of a TV test pattern. But any way it was the funnest crap I have ever seen or done. Thanks, this was the shat!!!!!!
— Christine
One of our customers, Anthony, sprays some Liquid ASS at work and claims the nasty smell is his own I–had–tuna–for–lunch fart. Watch and laugh as his coworkers suffer in olfactory agony.
Send us your video. If we deem that it is good enough to use on our site, we will send you 25 bottles of Liquid ASS as we did for Anthony for his video above.
The video needs to be the digital file from the camera (MPEG-4) saved on a CD uncompressed and sent directy to us thru the mail.
After much research and development, the ASSmen bring you BARFume — puke smell in a bottle.
Remember back when someone tossed their cookies in the hallway at school (and they put that granular stuff on it)? BARFume will let you relive those days of yore when you and your schoolmates had split into either side of the hall to avoid the vomit mess while trying to hurriedly move through the uvula–tickling upchuck smell.
You can relive those days with a quick dash of BARFume. Better yet, let your coworkers and friends relive those school days while you sit back and laugh.
What defines a perfect funny prank? It should be (1) effective, (2) long–lasting, (3) stealthy, (4) observable, (5) repeatable, and (6) safe. Liquid ASS and BARFume have all these characteristics. Try it and see for yourself.
Don't take our word for it. Here is what our customers are telling us:
• "You've replicated the smell of human excrement perfectly."
• "This STUFF is AWESOME for pranks and a less–than–lethal weapon!!"
• "You guys should get a Nobel prize for this!"
• "Liquid ASS has greatly exceeded my expectations."
• "I have never laughed so hard in my life."
• "I have found that your product is the Holy Grail of stink!"
• ". . . Liquid Ass seems to smell "hot", like really fresh shit . . ."
• "The best part of Liquid Ass is the fact that no one can find a source."
• "All pranksters should have this in their arsenal."
• "Liquid ASS is the ultimate college revenge product."
• "I and the other 2 girls I work with have been pretty much peeing our pants with laughter."
• "Liquid Ass to me is now ranked among the greatest inventions of all time."
• "It combines both a bona fide turd smell with the gaseous effects of a noxious fart bomb."
, it's a bit disturbing."
You can hear radio interviews with the Assmen in their entirety by going to our Radio Links Page.
Hate your job? Morale at work low? Pull out your stash of Liquid ASS and pull some hilarious office pranks, exact some revenge on your annoying co–worker, or show your boss who really is in charge. Job satisfaction going up.
To get your own stash of ASS, go to the Products page of our online store.
World Champion Freediver Tanya Streeter can hold her breath for 6 minutes . . . but can she handle 2 seconds of Liquid ASS? Watch this video and find out (WMV, 1.9 MB).
Stink Bombs and Fart Spray are effective stink prank products, but they have that chemical sulfur smell. Liquid ASS has an authentic butt–crack smell.
Need some ASS? Go to the Products page of our online store.
If you like Stink Bombs and Fart Spray, just wait until you try Liquid ASS!
Do you have any questions or comments for the Assmen?
Send us an email.
Want a Liquid ASS t–shirt or coffee mug? Go to Cafe Press and order yours today. (Sorry, coffee mug is made in China.)
Page last updated 13April2012.
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